My Old Journal

Hello!

I had free time last night, as usual, so I spent hours or so reading my old journal.
I was fun at first...I was hopeful, funny little girl who has just got back to Thailand with the feeling that I could get anything I wanted.
Then, after a year or so...I started to changed.
Somehow, somewhere between late 2004 and early 2006...I became a really hopeless and desperated person.

I was soooo shocked, looking back at myself then.
I was so childish, whining and pathetic.
At one piont...I hit the bottom ground.
I hated myself so much I didn't even believe life could get any better.
It scared me to feel that way about myself.
It's really scary...what if I was too weak to get through those days...
It's WAY too horrifying just to think about that.

Today I feel better about ME.
I feel fine in my own skin, even though I'm still the same person.
Still carry extra weight, loveless, struggle to survive my career advancement stuff, lonely, broke, but somehow those things don't bother me too much anymore.
Guess I'm growing up...mentally.
It feels kinna good to be here where I stand today.
I believe I can do anything now.
If you survive the I-hate-myself period and able to look back and laugh at yourself then, guess you'll survive anything.

I hope and pray all of you who have a chance to read this post finally realize how lucky we are to be here on this planet.
I hope you too can conqure all your obstacles.
And I pray, somehow you will find a way to thank God for giving you the chance to be YOU cause I did...and it felt really really good.
Before I go, I'll leave one quote from my favourite woman in the world here.
I think it will be somewhat helpful if you ever hit the bottom ground.

Enjoy living your life!
Amy =)

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”
Carrie Bradshaw: Sex and the City