I'm Back on My Feet

OK, Folks!

Now I'm back on my feet and so ready to castrate any jerks who come my way.
And I mean it.

I was WAY too emotional for weeks and it was not me.
Thinking about how I behave the past few weeks made me sick to my stomach.
It was so humiliating to tell the world that I was falling.
I am sure now, I'm not anywhere near the 'L' word.

That guy is a jerk. He really is.
He has a wife whom he loves SooooOOOOoo very much.
Still he tries to charm all kinds of female species ever walked the earth.
I feel so cheap to even think a guy like that can make me fall. >=(

Amy, from now on, aim high, shoot high.
Don't ever let any random guys bring you down.
Be toughed and focused!
Remember, Joe's Dad is waiting.


Amy
The Fighter

P.S. Well, there are many suckers around me right now. They try so hard to ask me out, to get into my room...and all of them try very hard to get into my pants! As if I'm gonna let them win. I warn you, bitchy Amy is coming out again. Keep mess up with me, they'll see how scary I can be!!!

Obsessed

Dear Blogger

Remember the guy from my previous blog?
I put on his wedding ring yesterday and it fit me perfectly.

No no no nothing happened between us YET...
It's just I asked him why his wedding ring was on his right hand.
He took it off and said it was too big for his left hand.
I asked him if I could see the ring.
He gave it to me. I was about to put it in my finger but I stopped.
He said 'Try it on, I don't mind.'
And I did...it felt so good.

I won't give a damn about anything now.
If he falls for me, I'll jump right in.
Whatever happens is a part of the plan.
Things happen for reasons, right?
Maybe this is the reason why God puts me here in the first place.
Who knows?

With Love

Amy
(Obsessed girl who won't take responsible for anything)

Love

Dear Blogger,

I have been trying so hard not to admit something.
I told people I didn't give a tiny rat ass about love and relationship.
I lied. I DO give shit about love in a big way to be exact.
It just scares me to let myself fall because as we all know falling is not a pleasant thing.
So I built this tall and strong wall just to shut everyone up.
I even have the list of IDEAL guy which I add more and more qualities everyday.
All I want is to make sure I won't fall for anyone so easily.

Around a month ago, my sister told me she watched Practical Magic.
(The wry, comic romantic tale follows the Owens sisters, Sally and Gillian, as they struggle to use their hereditary gift for practical magic to overcome the obstacles in discovering true love. From www.imdb.com)
I look at my life and sometimes feel like I'm one of the sisters in that movie.
Sally Owen, the older sister cast this spell so she won't fall in love with any random guys.

Young Sally Owens: He will hear my call a mile away. He will whistle my favorite song. He can ride a pony backwards.
Young Gillian Owens: What are you doing?
Young Sally Owens: Summoning up a true love spell called Amas Veritas. He can flip pancakes in the air. He'll be marvelously kind. And his favorite shape will be a star. And he'll have one green eye and one blue.
Young Gillian Owens: Thought you never wanted to fall in love.
Young Sally Owens: That's the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn't exist. And if he doesn't exist, I'll never die of a broken heart.

I did the same thing.
I even prayed from time to time asking God to shut my heart completely.
You know what happen?
It turns to be some kind of a curse on me.
I'm so afraid to get intimate, to let someone in and so afraid to fall in love.
Every time I feel that a certain guy I hang out with has the potential to make me fall, I run away.
It is crazy right? I have LOVE PHOBIA..
The fact that being in love scares the hell out of me indicates that.

Then around a week ago something happened, thing that is about to change my life completely.
That evening, I was working at the bar with this guy, another woman’s hubbie, and also with my boss.
(The hubbie was everything I didn’t like in guys, hates Liverpool FC, smoking a lot, not nice teeth, so thin, average height, not so romantic, non-Caucasian and married!)
Anyhow, I was so bored with X and Horny incident and decided to become a nun or at least to stay away from love for as long as I could.
My boss said no Amy what a waste! You might think it’s so bored and you’re so sick of love but your heart is another thing. You can’t control it.

After that I spent some nights thinking about that speech and the truth hit me very very very hard.
It’s true…no matter how hard you try, your heart will beat with its own drum and it won’t listen to you.
And I discovered something then, I am falling.
Against all the rules and lists I have, I’m falling for a guy who has absolutely nothing compares to the IDEAL guy at all.
There I was sitting in my room, speechless and so shocked.

I talk to my baby Joe about this and he said things happened for a reason.
If I were to fall for this guy, then let’s fall.
Maybe he would be the one who helps me destroy the wall I built a long time ago.
He might be the one to help me overcome my fear.
I honestly don’t know what would happen after this.
It scares me so much just to think about it.
Hope whatever happens will somehow make me realize that falling isn’t that bad after all.
I might as well enjoy the ride and I might as well become more emotionally stable for Joe’s sake.
I will be very careful with it. As Gillian, the other sister in Practical Magic, said…
Gillian Owens: You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast?
Antonia Owens: She does it all the time.
Gillian Owens: She does? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall.

I will come back to tell you more on this. And maybe, just maybe, the next time we meet I will be almost normal.
Who knows? Don’t you think?

With Love
Amy

Horny Guy

Hey you!

How are things?
Where were we the last time? Yeah, I remember now. We were talking about X, right?
This time I'll tell you another story about another guy, a very horny guy.
I'll call him Horny then.

Remember a guy who had a dream about me naked? That's Horny.
He WAS a nice boy. He had a very adorable girlfriend.
I don't give a damn about their relationship.
I think, they had plan to move to the new Four Seasons together.
However, Horny didn't make the cut so only his girl moved to the new branch.

Well, that dream of me happened a month ago, just a week after the girl left.
I thought it was funny and harmless. I was flattered a bit at one point.
Anyhow, the kid started to scare me more and more each day.
The thing was I called him once to borrow some movies.
He went to my room that evening and asked if I could help him find some songs.
I thought it was nothing.
I had hundred of songs and didn't mind sharing them with people.
And he started to call me, sent text messages and knocked on my door every night.
It was cool at first. Then he started to talk about moving in together.
I thought he was kidding.I was so stupid.
He really meant what he said.

The freakiest night was three night ago.
I had really bad day at work and really really needed to get drunk.
(I promised I would tell you about the get drunk story here. It's related to the next guy on my list. Please wait and see.)
There was this farewell party at staff apartment that evening.
I went there for like ten minutes and found no fun.
Horny was also there and was thrilled to see me.
I believed he was upset to see me leave so early.
After that I went to a bar with my friend and got so drunk.
I went back to my room at around 10 PM.
Horny called a few minutes after I got back.
I told him not to come cause I was too drunk.
He was drunk also and said we should be drunk together!!! Grose!!!

And yes he came to my room. I tried to kicked him out.
He was so strong and managed to open the door.
He said he wanted new songs.
I was kinna scared but at the same time so sure I would be able to handle him.
He showed many many pictures of me he kept in his cell phone.
He got them from sport day at the camp.
He even tried to take my picture while I was downloading those songs for him.
After he got his songs, I told him to leave.
He said no and would spent a night in my room.
At that point I was shaking. My brain was working so hard trying to get rid of him.
I wanted kick myself to let thing got this far.

Then there was a phone call, a voice of heaven, from my faourite girl in the world, my heroine...Horny's Girlfriend.
She missed him, I think. She called to see if he's alright.
That was my chance so I started to talk so loud that he had to get out of my room.
I went out as well, hoping to put thing straight.
He was talking with his girlfriend and tried very hard not to tell her about his behaviour.
After hung up, he told me he forgot something in my room and needed to get it back or he would stand there all night.
So I opened the door and let him looked for that damn thing.
Of course, I refused to get back into my room while he still in there.
He spent 5 minutes or so in my room while I was standing outside.
The alcohol I had started to kick in then.
I felt so sick and needed to go to bed so I told Horny to get out of my room, go see his girlfriend and stop bothering me.
I even said your girlfriend would be crushed to see you like this.
It worked!!! He said ok I'm going back now.
Still he tried to touch me before he left...you damn Horny bastard!!

He knocked on my door again last night and made really loud noise all night trying to lure me out.
I didn't fall for that no more. He is WAY too horny and too dangerous for me.
Well, as the matter of fact, he is making loud noise and yelling something just a few steps outside my room at this very moment!

Girls read and learn...don't put yourself in a risky situation.
Guys are not to be trusted.
Even a nice and harmless boy turns out to be a devil once they get horny.
Be careful, you might not be as lucky as I am.
I will be super extra careful about him from now on.
He is about to resign from the camp in two weeks.
The day he packs all his belongings and goes will be one of the nicest days I have here.
Wish me luck. I have been saving myself for the past 27 years and more than happy to stay this way.
Yet, another long story to share.
Please come back for next post. It's the one that I need to tell you guys so badly.

For now, Good Day and Good Night!
Amy =)


P.S. Have I ever met any nice guys who don't turn out to be monster?
Hmm...I think Now, Saritnum, Tor, Benze from Kingsmill are a few of good guys I'm lucky enough to be friends with.
Thanks you guys for being nice and sincere and be my friends!