Dear God

Dear God

This is your sheep, Amy.
I have so many things to say to you.
Some are confessions, words to show how greatful I am and of course some prayers.

I need to tell you that I have been lying to Mommy about my relationship.
I know how she feels about the guy, the relationship and the fact that he's married.
Mom hates it so much cause afterall her love one has been stolen.
I am, on the other hand, is a theif, stealing other woman husband.
I am not pround of that at all.
I am everything Mommy hates. I am everything I hated my whole life.
I am nothing but a low-life whore who is not even good enough to be THE ONE AND ONLY.
But why am I doing it?
Maybe because I look at him and I smile.
My heart beats faster, happier just to think of him.
Being with him, holding him tight is what I want to do.
Is this love? Am I really in love?
Maybe I am. The question is does he love me enough to make me THE ONE AND ONLY?

God, apart from the sad story above, I need to thank you.
I asked for love and you gave it to me.
Not the way I expected though.
But who am I to complain?
It is always better to love and lost than never loved at all, right?
Although it would be nicer to take all the pain of sharing him away...
The ride will be so plaesant without worrying all the time what happen when I'm out of the picture.
That's what kiiling me every waking day.

Then agian you heal my inside.
I have no serious illness (beside unbearable amount of stressfulness.)
I'm glad I'm doing ok, physically.
Thank you for that.
I'm glad my Dad is finally started to realize that I have been having a very hard life providing all the money and other stuff for Mom and my sis.
Hope this me being the head of the house will soften him and he will somehow take some action and make my life easier and happier.
And I'm also so thankful that my sis survived all the tasks you gave her.
She is now on the way to the glory land. Good for her.

Last but not least, some prays from me yours truly.
I pray that you remember to get me out of here in one piece as soon as possible.
It is too painful for me to stay here.
If you can't take me out yet...kindly stop my pain of being another woman.
I can ask you to get her out or make him choose me but walking away is easier.
Afterall, Joe told me the guy would never leave her.
No matter what he says, he loves her and they were made for each other.
They will always be together and I will fade away soon.
That's why I'm begging you God to help me.
Please take me to the place where I can be truly happy.
The place where I can find a HOME for my love, mine only, home for Joey and HOME for me.
I just want the man that always be there when I need him.
A man that I can call my own.
Someone I can have and hold for all my life.
I dont want to share my love with anyone again ever.
Is it too much to ask?
I hope not...

Thank you so much God for your time.
I pray to you in the name of The Lord Jesus Crist.
AMEN

Your Sheep, Amy