Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Messy Life and Tiny Lesson


Dear Blogger

It's getting colder and colder here on Brokeback River...
Why Brokeback?
Well, let's just put it this way...where I am right now are full with non-straight people.
Got the picture now, my friends?

First thing first, I am trying to write something kinna fun currently.
It's my crappy love life and how I look back and feel so many things on each of those so call love and relationship.
I think it will be tiny bit funny. It might sheer someone up actually.
I mean people often feel better to know that someone is having a sucky, pathetic and not so awesome life.
Don't you think?

Subject changes, I'll try Ethihad again.
Ethihad is an airline...in case you wonder what the hell in the world is Ethihad!
I hope it works out fine this time.
I mean what the worse could have happen...
My beloved grandma passed away a day after I flunk the final interview!
I made it that far once, I'll manage it again.
I mean nothing to lose right?

The thing is I really don't want anything to do with full function service business no more. Not on the staff side I mean.
That's why I am trying so hard to find high-paid job even I know I would be sufficated to do that job.
I just know I won't be doing it for the rest of my life.
I'm young...26 is not that old yet.
I still have a few years to really look for the bright future for my Joey.
(I believe my Dad will surely piss off to see that I'm not ready at all to become a SUCCESSFUL adult! Oh..get over it, Daddy!)

Well,I am trying to save some money for further education now.
My education plan has changed from Food and Nutrition Management to Event Management.
I think, actually Ump thinks, it will be so much fun for the both of us to do that job, to have our own business.
I'm thinking about wedding planner or party planner or something along the line.
I'm so dying to be my own boss or at least have SANE boss.
It would surely do me great. =)

I try to be a service-minded person, I do. I try so hard....so damn hard to do good job, to be a good Camphost.
But somehow...at the end of the day all I can think of is how I would like to be pampered, to be well treated, to be completely away from this side of the hotel industry.
I don't belong behind the counter, I should be on the other side, having fun...not being tortured like this.
Right now all I can do is whinning about how I mistakenly drag myself to this whole mess.
How stupid I am!!!
But at least I know why I am here right...to save some money for better...a brighter and so much better future.

By the way, I'm back on the 'I don't need a man to make me complete, I get up do my thing' period again.
I'm not that lonely and desperately need to be in love no more.
I have something else in life I need to put all my energy on now.
I need to think about my future and how to put myself on the right track, how to find a secure career that won't drive me crazy during the process.
Guess guys issue only come when you think the world is so cruel and all you can do is looking for someone to share the harshness. (Or when you are so caught up with yourself and see nothing but YOU YOURS and YOURSELF.)
Well, it's stupid to think that way.
We were born to carry our own shitty stuff and burden.
You cant just rely on someone to take the loads off your shoulder.
You must learn to live as strong and as tough as you could on your own.
It's hard. It's so hard to get there gracefully.
I'm working my ass off to be on that very place.
Oh how I try hard to be that person...
Well, one thing I can be proud of about myself...at least I know what I dont want to do or to be.
That is, for me, the next best thing. (The best thing is of course to know what you want and to do what your heart desires.)
One thing I want everyone to know now is "You must be your own hero!"
Life will be easier if you can be that person for yourself.
That the morale I learn tonight. (It's 10:05 PM)
That's the morale I want to share with you.
Be a hero everyone. I know you can!!!

OK gotta go now...
Life is waiting!

Amp =)

1 comment:

Summer Frenzy said...

Hello there,
Long time no chat and no comment post here,I have been carried away by nonsensical things only to find out now here how you feel miserable with your present job. Well, honestly, I have been thinking that someone as smart as you shouldn't have ended up there. And you're not the kind of girl to live in such a remote area..so,am praying for you as well to pass the test to become a flight attendant..or own your business (but the later one surely gonna take some future time added with experiences and knowledge and capital!!=).
Why not applying for another airline as well? My classmate,she missed the interview because of waking up late! for a Korean airline,am not sure abt the name but they pay real good and you become the real crew so soon after a short training...flying to Korea,that's awesome...
Anyway,do you know that your English..it has been beautiful but the latest blog,the language use keeps growing finer and finer...so fine that I think you can have a job as a copywriter something=)
Today,I went back to our old office..you know,Steve is leaving to Korea soon. He has a teaching post waiting there...around 2 weeks and he'll be paid around 100,000 bht!! But he said his banking balance would be grounded to zero anyway 'cause he would need to pay back on the plastic cards!!=) And you know,Steve got to be the model for Citylife...the life-sized Steve printed on the wall!!...I don't know if you have seen that 'cause am not sure how long they have put on the advertisement on that wall...it's at the entrance of the Soi to the office! Cool,lol!
Gotta go back to homework,
Misssssing

Jeab jaa