It would be GREAT to be away for a while

Hello!

I was so close to post silly, gloomy, pathetic story of my life but I change my mind.
I think I'll try to be positive this time.
You know what I have been thinking and dreaming about lately...a holiday.
Holiday here doesn't mean not going to work and sleep all day,it means going away from my daily monotonous life for a few days or weeks.
That would be really awesome!

The thing is I'm auditioning for a tiny part in a UK movie tomorrow.
If I got the part, I would be travlling to Ao Manoa.
It's one of the nicest beaches of Thailand.
I've never seen it before but heard a lot about its beauty.

I think they will pay me $100 for saying "You're doing great."
Please don't ask how much I have to pay to get there. It's way too cruel!!)

Wish me luck!
Amy =)

P.S. Anyway, P.K. is coiming home. If I'm lucky I'll be seeing P.K. by the end of this month and being a part of a movie next month! So excited!!!

My P.K.

Hello! Hello! Hello!
I just finished eating my BirthDay cake.
(O.K. that's a good reason to start that abs work out today!!)
My colleagues hold an early BirthDay party for me.
Well, I like it really I do but that will never change the fact that I need to move on...real bad.
I hope my 'moving on' is coming closer and closer as the 25th year of my life is approaching.
It would be an awesome BirthDay gift...

Have you ever been liking you FRIEND so bad for so long?
I do. His name is P.K.
How long have I been knowing P.K....
Hmm..let's see...I first met him when I was 12..I'm 25 now so wow...13 years.
I have been having this so call crush on my friend for 13 years!
Well, I can't really call it a crush...it's a little bit more complicated than that.
Let's just say I like him and I BELIEVE P.K.likes me as well.
He gave me a thornless red-rose on Valentine's Day once when we were in 9th grade.
We never really been in any relationship.
He is my friend and I'm his friend, although I know,for me,P.K.is always more than friend.

So what's the problem then?
The problem...let's see...how about he always has someone beside him or he probably doesn't feel the way I feel for him.
And that's my friends...is really really bugging me.
I like him...I do... a lot actually.
I sometimes hope that he too likes me back and we can end up dating or be together.
He makes me laugh and brighten up my days.
Not many people can do that but he does.
And it scares me...it scares the hell out of me.
I know somehow P.K. is one of hundred reasons why I'm still running away from love no matter how much I need to be loved.
I think he is that guy...an ideal guy...the guy I measure everyone up against.

What's the heck is wrong with you Amy?
I don't even know why I even have to worry about that stuff.
I mean..he lives in BKK. I'm in Chiang Mai.
We are far a part. And it's not like I get to see him that often anyway.
It just...he promised me yesterday he would visit at the end of this month.
He said his visit would be like my BD present.
It makes me reallize that I never could get over him.
He has played a very important part in my childhood life and he still playes a very important part in my life these days.
So sad isn't it?
Well, it is sad...trying to give your everything to someone you can't have.
In a parallel universe P.K. and I would probably be happily not married but at least we would surely be in love.
That's will never happen not in a million years...
So stop being silly...try harder to make your friend your friend.
That's gonna make your love life less complicated! (I wish!)

Yet, another messy messy post ha?
That's me. Messy is my middle name.
I'll see ya later.

Miss Amy 'Messy' R. Shanan